//NEWS: B. Al-Assad Is a Pimp With Good Taste In Music

Yesterday, it was revealed to the interwebs through a handful of Smutty U.K. tabloids that Syrian Dictator, Bashaar Al Assad has been getting emails from young women that he might've gone to town with and has, apparently, been spending most of his time buying New Order songs off iTunes.

Anti-Syrian Regime hackers (whatever that means) found links to 4 women in his email inbox, three of whom have been identified as being as being: Hadeel Al Ali and Sheherazad Jaafari; two young 'Public Relations Aides', and Rasha Mouakeh. The Fourth is simply some woman who can only be identified by a picture of her in a thong.

I'm certainly glad this is out since I've been wondering, for a while now, what exactly Bashaar Al Assad did in his free time. It's comforting to know that, inside, Al-Assad is just a regular Alfie that likes to listen to some sweet tunes and get young tang, even though his wife is smoking hot.

Though this smear campaign accomplishes basically nothing other than making Al-Assad look like a long lost 'Mad Men' character, I still hope some sort of resolution is passed so that Syria can once again be safe to walk around. They have the most badass Shwarma. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2116653/Bashar-al-Assad-Emails-leaked-Syrian-rebels-reveal-married-dictators-secret-admirers.html

http://www.mirror.co.uk/night-copy/hackers-release-sexy-picture-of-brunette-765167